*Wearing my Warriors snapback to the final*
| Me: | *I look to my left* |
| Kristina: | I like your hat! |
| Me: | Thanks! |
| Me: | *I look to my right* |
| Cristina: | Fuck yo hat! |
Last week...
| Diana: | MOOORNING |
| Me: | Thank you for not saying "good morning" bc nothing is good about this morning |
| Diana: | After you see me it will be a good morning |
| Me: | Lol wowww, narcissistic PD much? LOL jk |
| Diana: | :D |
Ricin
| Professor: | The new bioterrorism weapon is ricin. |
| Me: | Goddamn you Breaking Bad! |
| Mikhail and Paige: | *turn heads and smile at me* |
Apr. 26, 2013 at 6:00am with 2 notes
Reblogged from dividethesheepy
Arrivederci!
| Me: | when you graduated from high school, did they say "Chow, Diana"? |
| Diana: | I odnt remember LMAO |
| Diana: | that was like 5 years ago dude |
| Me: | well if they did, everyone should have waved at you like "Ciao Diana! Byeeeee!" |
| Me: | LMFAO |
| Diana: | LMAO |
| Diana: | YOU ARE TERRIBLE. |
| Diana: | NOT TALKING TO YOU TMR |
Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:33pm with 4 notes
Reblogged from dividethesheepy
I fucking hate this niggah.., LMFAOOOO @inezco
I have to reblog just to have these texts forever hahaha.
Do "It"
| Diana: | Kk. Mm wanna do It later tonight? |
| Me: | That sounded HIGHLY suggestive taken out of context LMFAO |
| Me: | You even capitalized "It" hahahah |
| Me: | But yeah lets do it tonight lol |
| Diana: | LOLOLOLOL YOI KNOW WHAT I MEAN |
| Diana: | Omg... LOL |
| Me: | Over the internetz ahahah |
| Diana: | LOL |
| Diana: | You online now? |
| Me: | Oh I KNOW what you mean *taps nose* *wink wink* ahahhaha |
| Diana: | -__- |
Indiana Jones 5!
| Me: | Random thought, in following Fast 6's steps, what if in Indy 5 they bring back Elsa from The Last Crusade? Lmfaooo |
| Josh: | Hahaha that would be great. The holy grail falls to where she fell and there was a drop of water in it so she was able to survive. |
| Me: | OMG you are a GENIUS! We need to contact Lucas and Spielberg and get the ball rolling on a sequel. We've cracked the story! "Indiana Jones: Elsa's Revenge" |
What unlimited texting buys me
| Me: | I'M IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION! |
| Chris: | HE'S GONNA PUT CORNINGSTONE ON!!! |
| Chris: | "I gotta do the news!" *pushes random guy on the floor while running |
| Me: | Lmfao I was literally going to write that one next LOLLLL |
| Me: | *jumps into bear pit* "I immediately regret this decision" |
| Chris: | "60% of the time it works every time" "that doesn't make any sense" |
| Me: | I am going to take your mother out for a nice seafood dinner and NEVER call her back! |
| Chris: | Dorothy Mantooth is a saint!! You hear me! Dorothy Mantooth is a saint!! |
| Chris: | Seriously nothing? You guys just stand there? Even the guy who can't think said something! Come on! |
| Me: | I HATE YOU RON BURGUNDY! I HAT YOU!!! |
| Me: | HOLY FUCK I almost laughed out loud in class at that! LMFAOOOOO |
| Chris: | Lmfaooo |
| Chris: | You wanna dance? No I wanna polka... |
| Me: | I'm VERY aroused! |
| Chris: | No touching of the hair or face. Of course. |
| Me: | I did NOT see that coming! |
| Chris: | Wow that escalated quickly.. I mean that really got out of hand |
| Chris: | I miss your scent, I miss your musk, Hell I'm a mess without you Ron!! I think when this is all over you and me should get a apartment together!! Calm down Champ why don't you stop talkin for a bit, maybe sit the next couple of plays out |
At Clinical
| Radio: | *Frank Ocean's "Thinking About You" starts playing* |
| Me: | Ohhhhh, I love this song. You know this song right? |
| Maria: | Nope. |
| Me: | You don't know this song??? |
| Maria: | Who sings it? |
| Me: | Frank Ocean! |
| Maria: | I don't even know who that is. |
| Me: | You don't even know who that is!? Are you kidding me? Maria, Maria, Maria... |
| Michelle: | *walks in room* |
| Me: | Michelle! Maria doesn't know who Frank Ocean is! |
| Michelle: | *looks Maria up and down* |
| Michelle: | What's with wrong with you? |
My self-deprecating version of April Fools
| Me: | *wearing button up shirt and tie to school* |
| Friend: | Why are you all dressed up? |
| Me: | Oh, I have a date. |
| Friend: | Really? |
| Me: | April Fools! No, of course I don't have a date. Who would want to date me? |
"Oh I'm a [blank] because I'm a nice guy?" is my new catchphrase
| Me: | Hey do you still have any vodka left? The flask or the bottle? |
| Dano: | Yup |
| Me: | Both? |
| Dano: | Yeah |
| Me: | Well damn haha |
| Dano: | Sup? |
| Dano: | Do a little bit of boozing? |
| Me: | No I was just wondering if you had any haha |
| Dano: | Man you always ask at weird ass times... you fucking prude |
| Me: | Oh I'm a prude because I'm a nice guy? |
| Dano: | ..... Delete my number |
So my friend Maria won a scholarship from Stephen Curry of the Golden State Warriors a few years ago and every year she gets money from him to go to school. She gets to meet him once a year at this big event and this is the ensuing conversation we had after she went today haha.
Maria: Sooo just saw Stephen again…
Me: Did you tell him you were a Lakers fan?
Maria: Haha funny…
Me: And I like how you’re on a first name basis with him haha
Me: You said you were gonna do it! With video evidence!
Maria: Lol I couldn’t…I need money for next year too!!!
Me: Lmfaooooo
And believe you me I begged her to bring me to this event but she can only bring two people and she wasn’t going to bring me over her mom or dad hahaha.
7:39pm with 7,754 notes
Reblogged from fuckyeahharrypotter
So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we’ll never know most of them. But even if we don’t have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them.
Marian: So you were a wallflower in high school?
Eric: You know, since that movie came out I’ve heard a lot of people use that word as an adjective to describe someone.
Marian: Well, what else am I supposed to call it?
Me: I don’t know, observant? Shy? Shy is good, it’s only three letters long.
(Source: sohelpmeoshea)
Kings 77, Warriors 66 - End of 3rd Quarter
| Me: | Jean you are fucking up our mojo, you're not supposed to be at the Warriors games! Lol |
| Jean: | Please our rebounds are non existent |
| Me: | Do you even know what a rebound is??? |
| Jean: | Yes :) |
