Can I just say how disheartening it is that I can barely speak Tagalog anymore? I was one of those kids who used to speak it when I was younger but when I went to school I started speaking English only. I pretty much completely understand Tagalog, but I can’t respond back unless it’s using short phrases; I can’t converse back and forth. I really wish I had kept up with my native language.

The reason I bring this up is because today in clinicals I had a Filipino patient. It would’ve been hard to have a back and forth conversation anyway since he suffered a stroke and had a speech impairment, but it still kind of killed me that I couldn’t speak to him in our native language. I could only say a few things like “magandang umaga po” and “maraming salamat po.” He was extremely nice as well and even said that I did a good job, “galing” is exactly what he said.

I’ve often thought about how “American” I’ve become, especially in comparison to my family. There are certain Filipino foods that I don’t eat which I’m sure would blow any self respecting Filipino’s mind. While there are certain things about Filipino culture that still hold true to me, I think the reason that I feel so… ashamed that I’ve lost some part of my culture is that no matter what, I’m Filipino first. I may have been born in America, I may be American, but Filipino blood runs through my veins. I don’t want to forget where I came from and what my ancestors went through to survive.

My parents have done so much for me that I don’t want to take what they gave me and what they had to do in vain. So many of us put our values in the wrong places and chase materialistic desires and, honestly, there are a lot of Filipinos who come to America and try to “show off” what they have now, but Filipinos were NEVER about that. We may be prideful, but being greedy and boastful is not something inherently Filipino. A lot of us came up from nothing and made something out of ourselves through hard work and perseverence, not to mention our kind hearts. That’s something that I always loved about Filipinos, when I would visit the Philippines, the hospitality from EVERYONE is ALWAYS so gracious and loving. You would think some Filipinos would look down on me for not being able to speak Tagalog or maybe because I was from America, but everyone was so welcoming and friendly. When I saw that, it just reminded me of who Filipinos really are at heart.

Hopefully, when I have kids I’ll be able to impart some Filipino culture into their lives. I know there’s that whole saying of not focusing on the past, but you’ve still got to see where you’ve been to see where you’re headed.